Well here I am, I have been really unwell since last thursday with a virus and a really horrible cold so I missed my WI last week but dragged myself there last night and had a lost 1lb without even trying but....................................
This morning I watched the Wright Stuff (my fav daytime programme) and on the panel were Paul McKenna, Anne Diamond and a Doctor whose name escapes me. They were having a debate about why we are so fat (as a nation) and every single one of them said that dieting without a shadow of a doubt makes you fat, they were saying that every time you diet you end up putting all the weight back on plus extra. This is SOOOOOOOOOOOO true about me! I have been dieting since I was about 20 when I had first moved in with Dave and put on about a stone (that made me 9 stone in those days!!!) and Mum told me I was looking a bit lardy so should go to her slimming club with her, which I did and lost a stone very quickly and easily but that was it from then on my obsession with food began and the yo yoing started it was a total nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!
When i was about 24 I became really overweight (11 stone 11lbs in those days) through a long bought of anxiety and some depression and had set a date for my wedding to Dave so enrolled in WW which gave me a new and fresh approach to dieting with their points system and it took me 18 months to loose about 3 and a half stone, but of course immediately after I started having babies which brought me extreme anxiety through a kind of post natal depression and my only solace was food and so continued my battle with eating, guilt and dieting.
I can't beleive how miserable this has made me all these years, I go to WW every week and feel positive and motivated for about an hour after and think that WW is the greatest thing ever but I truely think I am kidding myself. I KNOW what to eat, I KNOW how to live a healthy lifestyle what I DON'T need is to be spending £20 every month to step on a pair of scales that are the same as mine at home for someone to help me fuel my obsession with food and weight.
At the WW meeting last night, the whole meeting was spent with most people expressing how difficult they find dieting and then talking about how yummy WW food products are - ARE THEY KIDDING!!!!!!!! diet food is utter SHITE it is filled with sweetners and sugar to compensate for the lack of fat and generally tastes like artificial cardboard.
I am SICK of dieting and want to stop, I didn't get to just under 15 stone from purely being greedy and lazy (although that is a major part of it) Igot here through my obsession with dieting, it has taken over my whole life, I am sick of it and so is Dave, I just want to eat healthy be responsible for my portion control, become physically active and see the pounds come off without the stress of counting points, calories, sins, fat content, carbs and all the rest of that bollocks and without the stress of a weekly weigh in which is done by aa lovely leader but who is 10 years younger than me and has not had children and works full time and has only dieted once, this sounds like me 10 years ago oh how easy it was back then!!!!
I do not want to be like my mum who bless her still yo yo diets now in her 50's I want to be fit and healthy and slim for me and my children so that I can live a long and healty life.
Tonight we have chicken pie, potatoes and veg for dinner, I know that I can have this if I have a small porition of the pie and not have to count it!!!!!!!!!!!!
God I am out of breath here but I have to make a lifetime decision here, I think WW is great for people who are experiencing it for the first time but ultimately it makes me totally miserable, I only want to think about food when I am eating it and not every minute of every day thinking about how many points I have left and what I caneat for those points.
PHEW!!! Anyway that is how I feel today, so I may cancel my membership and see how I go and put the £20 to good use somewhere else.
Chow for Now
Hxxx
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